consequences – Pamela Glowski’s Blog

At this moment, I am doing exactly what I planned on blogging about this week. AVOIDING what I promised and committed to do on New Year’s Day…Work out!!

I promised that I would exercise…mostly run on the treadmill 5 days a week. I started this routine in November, and have been pretty consistent…even through the holidays, but today I caught myself coming through the door after dropping the kids at school saying, “I just don’t feel like it today…” Oh the excuses just started to flow…we had such a hectic weekend, I have so much to catch up on…blah, blah, blah.

Then I started trying to make myself think I was being busy. I walked through the kitchen three times, conjuring up all kinds of busy work… like putting away the sugar bowl. Important stuff huh??? I folded a load of laundry, I loved up the puppies..giving them attention they deserve (that was creative wasn’t it?), I’ve flipped through the calendar twice to make sure that I know exactly what I need to get done today.

Wow…have I made myself feel justified for not doing what I am supposed to be doing!! Busy work makes me FEEL like I’m REALLY DOING SOMETHING…but in actuality all I’ve done is LOOK BUSY! I’m avoiding what I am supposed to be doing to reach my goals!! There is nothing that pressing that should have kept me from going right upstairs to the treadmill. Even this blog…Yes, it’s something that I must get done today, but I don’t normally write this early in the morning…I usually wait until after my work out. But here I am…and the bottom line is, I just don’t feel like getting on that treadmill.

I’m pretty fortunate that I have flexibility to my days. Normally I can juggle around the things I need to get done to some degree. For example, it really doesn’t matter if I do this blog first or get on the treadmill, as long as I get them both done…TODAY! Some people don’t have that luxury, so if the moment is lost…it’s lost—or is it??

This is where discipline comes in. I used to be the kind of person that, despite having flexibility, would say, “I don’t feel like it TODAY” and then put it off until tomorrow. NOW, I can get inside my own head and say..”Ok, I don’t feel like it right now…but you know you have to get it done…so after this task…I will promise myself that I will do it.”

Some people who set aside morning time to do what they need to get done may be able to skip it UNTIL LATER. They will not go to bed that night without it being done! That’s how I think we should all view our schedules/to do lists—whatever is on it…can not and should not be moved to the next day. It HAS TO GET DONE TODAY…NO MATTER WHAT! Even if it means sacrificing something that was supposed to be a reward later in the day, i.e., being able to watch American Idol, Monday Night Football, meet friends after work.

This applies to anything that we have set for goals. It’s not just about exercise—how about cleaning, getting organized, grocery shopping, getting business done?

Yes, I know you can relate—because it happens to everyone! This is not unique at all…but what is unique is …How we take control of ourselves, MOVE PAST IT AND FEEL LIKE IT…AND GET IT DONE… TODAY!

Did you know that only about 1/3 of resolutions make it past January? You want to know why? The person who started them either:

Really didn’t want to accomplish them.
They really were not motivated or
Didn’t know how to get and KEEP THEMSELVES motivated. THIS IS THE CATEGORY THAT I BELIEVE MOST PEOPLE FALL UNDER. That’s why we talked about What You Need To Know And Why last week.

Our minds are truly amazing…or should I say our subconscious minds are amazing. We feel like we are totally in control of our selves as we are conscious through the day…but the subconscious mind has more power over us than we think. This is especially important when we are trying to set a new course, or establish new habits.

Our brains have been programmed based on our past experiences, our frames of reference developed from those experiences, past gained knowledge, and old beliefs. Did you notice how much that all centers on…THE PAST!??

THIS IS KEY…until we acknowledge that our past thinking has brought us to where we are…we can’t move forward and break new ground. We can’t develop new habits if we don’t acknowledge our old ones…AND THE RESULTS THOSE OLD WAYS OF THINKING HAVE BROUGHT US!

Here, let’s use an example…

FIRST STEP DETERMINE AND ACCEPT THE OLD HABITS…

NO EXERCISE DAILY…

NOT excercising lead me to being out of shape and having poor health…

NOW ASK YOURSELF THESE KINDS OF QUESTIONS….

DO I REALLY WANT TO CHANGE OR AM I REALLY HAPPY WITH ME AS I AM? If YES…don’t beat yourself up…let go of the goal–you weren’t doing it for the right reasons anyway!! Come back to it someday if you truly want to change it.

IF NO? DO I REALIZE THAT CHANGING IS GOING TO BE A COMMITMENT? WHAT KIND OF COMMITMENT? DAILY? WEEKLY?

DO I REALIZE THAT IT WILL BE PAINFUL AT TIMES?

IS IT MORE IMPORTANT TO BE COMFORTABLE OR TO BE HEALTHY?

IS IT WORTH IT TO ME?

IF YES…OK, then what new knowledge do I need?

HOW DO I DO THIS? PROPER WORK OUT? DIET PLAN TO EAT RIGHT?

HOW DO I PUT THAT IN MY DAY? Put it on your schedule!

Create POSITIVE new experiences…Don’t overdue it the first time out! Overdoing EXERCISE, leads me to being sore and then in turn wanting to avoid it? Did I over-zealously start out but then let it take over too much of my life so I fizzled out just as fast as I started?

OR DID I REALIZE THIS IS A LONG TERM SET OF ACTION STEPS? IT’S GOING TO TAKE TIME!

DID I FEEL GOOD–starting small and then pushing just a little more each day? LOG THIS FEELING!!

HOW DID I FEEL ABOUT MYSELF FOR ACCOMPLISHING MY GOAL OF DOING THE EXERCISE JUST THIS ONCE?

CAN I TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME, BE REALISTIC, WITHOUT OVERTHINKING TOO FAR INTO THE FUTURE OR BEING IMPATIENT??

CAN I paint a new picture about what I will feel like and look like if I stay on course with my goal?! CUT OUT A PICTURE OF SOMEONE ELSE IF NEED BE!!

If I never develop that ability to get into my own head…get control of my own thoughts…which lead to the subsequent ACTIONS…and I don’t achieve my goal? WHAT ARE THE CONSEQUENCES??

CAN I LIVE WITH THEM??

What is the short term/long term gain for ME if I keep my promise to myself?

If I don’t value myself enough to keep my promises to MYSELF…I won’t make it…my past experiences and past programming will win out and I will go back to my same old ways. DO I WANT TO BE BEATEN BY MYSELF??

My mind is capable of playing around with these thoughts on so many different levels and there are some days that it wins and I lose the battle. I don’t beat myself up too much, I just realize that I can’t LOSE too many battles if I want to win the war!

I would love to tell you that I LOVE TO EXERCISE…but that would be a BIG, FAT LIE! What I can tell you is that I love the results of exercise…I love the endorphin rush from exercise, I like having a healthy blood pressure/blood sugar, I love that I can wear the size I want…but goodness knows I just hate getting it going sometimes.

You may feel that way about getting organized, your job, your business, going back to school…there are so many things and it’s all the same….

GET IN YOUR HEAD…
UNDERSTAND/ACCEPT WHERE YOU ARE/HAVE BEEN,
BE CLEAR ON WHERE YOU WANT TO GO…
AND THEN PUT IT IN FRONT OF YOU!

I wrote a promise contract to myself that answers all those questions above…in detail…in writing…and I just pulled it out to remind myself what I said that I would do…so…I’d better wrap this up and get on that treadmill!

How do you combat the “I JUST DON”T FEEL LIKE IT’S”?

What works for you?

Please share your ideas—

Do you have a Promise Contract with yourself?

Do you give yourself rewards if you get it done?

JOIN ME THIS WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 14, 2009 at www.blogtalkradio.com/pamela-glowski to delve into these topics some more! The show will be live! Call in and share your ideas!!

Well, here we are…Most people have tagged this day as the day to kick into their New Year’s Resolutions—Revolutions as I call them. But there is something absolutely critical that one must have a grip on if they TRULY want to succeed, reach their goals and create the life they want to live…And that critical thing is simple…it’s one word…You can not and will not be successful at any resolution whether it’s losing weight, finding the love of your life, start a business or so many others we have on our lists if you do not know YOU!! Yep that’s it—YOU!!
See years ago, I had a lot of failed relationships, I was overweight, I had a lot of bad habits, including smoking and binge eating. I was in a career I never really wanted, anything I attempted, I failed…until one day when someone asked me the question, “WHAT DO YOU WANT?”…it took me back and I started spewing out the usual responses…I want to be a size 2, healthy, with a great relationship with my spouse and I want to make more money. THEN I will be happy…or so I thought!

Every year I would make NY’s resolutions and every year I would fail! The stress of being inauthentic (not who I really was), the pressure of trying to do what everyone else told me I should be doing, was the perfect gasoline on the fire to inevitably lead me to failure.

     Then something happened…My mom died 9 years ago…very suddenly…and in the three days of her funeral, it felt as if someone had dropped a coconut on my head! And I decided that I was going to figure out how to truly BE HAPPY!
It didn’t happen overnight…it’s been a LONG journey. It’s been a 9 year quest…and I’m happy to say I hope it lasts another 40 years or so. Because I’m worth it…and ya know what…so are YOU!!!
       Now you may be asking…what do I need to know. Well, what you need to know is…WHO ARE YOU? What makes you tick? What do you like? Do you really want to lose weight or are you really comfortable where you are? Do you want to be loved for who you are? Treated as you truly deserve? WHAT IS IT THAT YOU WANT?

And what are the CONSEQUENCES…GOSH we hate that word don’t we?? What are the consequences if you don’t lose the weight? Poor health? Not being able to do the things you want to do? What are the consequences of not establishing a loving relationship? Divorce? Being alone? What happens if you don’t make the money you really deserve? Kids will have to have thousands of dollars of school loans?? What are the consequenses for YOU in not achieving your goals?
Now, most people hit the ground running this morning with a list of things they were going to change…with not really knowing WHY and WITHOUT A PLAN. I’d like to suggest that you take the next week or two and first of all do the following:

DECIDE WHAT YOU WANT? HOW DOES YOUR LIFE LOOK AT THE END OF THE YEAR IF YOU ACHIEVE YOUR GOAL? WHAT WOULD A TYPICAL DAY LOOK LIKE IN YOUR LIFE? BE VERY, VERY, SPECIFIC!!
NOW ANSWER THIS…WHY DO YOU WANT THOSE THINGS??

If you want to lose weight to impress someone else…STOP NOW…If you think by losing weight someone is going to love you…STOP NOW…If you think that you have to have a lot of money for someone to love you…STOP NOW!! If you are doing any of these things for someone else…you will fail.

So first things first….

YOU HAVE TO GO FIRST AND SIT DOWN WITH YOUR HIGHER POWER AND YOURSELF AND FIND OUT WHAT YOU WANT. You have to be willing to go in and go deep!! Achieving your goals won’t mean anything unless you know what “ANYTHING” means to you.

You were born completely equipped to live the life you want…unfortunately our outsides grow at a different rate than our insides. And when the insides decide that it’s time to catch up…it’s painful. That’s why if you rely on the Divine; create a relationship with the Divine, who did after all CREATE YOU…then you can start to figure out what you want. I will warn you…God is very hard to hear sometimes and he doesn’t get back to you right away. Learn to develop that relationship with patience so that YOU CAN HEAR HIM.

Next…start journaling. ESTABLISH WHERE YOU ARE CURRENTLY AT. You can’t go somewhere new if you don’t know wher you are. Maybe you need a medical exam before you start a weight loss plan, smoking cessation program. Maybe you need to see if your relationship can be saved or get out of one relationship before you start another. How much more money do you want to make?
Then journal AN ATTITUDE EVALUATION…are you an optimist, pessimist, procrastinator, doubter, believer, thinker, take action kind of person…all or nothing kind of person? Not what you have been told to be…WHAT YOU ARE…don’t deny who you are.
WHAT ARE YOUR CORE BELIEFS? What are your ideals about the way you want to live? WHY HAVEN”T YOU BEEN LIVING THEM THIS FAR IN YOUR LIFE? This one is important!
What are your feelings about money, food, relationships, people?? Right them down!
What’s YOUR STYLE? Running or Yoga? Super Model or Salt of the Earth? Six Figures or $50K??? Determining your style will determine your approach and help you create a realistic plan!! Give yourself the best shot at success…don’t design a plan for someone else.
And that’s the last step…CREATE A PLAN! A PLAN that is designed for YOU, one that YOU are authentic in…a plan that YOU CAN and will succeed in–

BECAUSE IT’S WHAT YOU WANT FOR THE RIGHT REASONS!!

Your own expectations will be key…BE REALISTIC…don’t give yourself such a huge hurdle to jump over that you are going to burn out. It takes 21 days to form a habit so create babysteps for yourself. Give yourself credit for reaching those babysteps—REWARD YOURSELF— and remember stepping stones lead to the milestones.

Most importantly…START WHEN YOU ARE READY!! Having deadlines can be helpful if you are the kind of person who needs them so you begin taking action, but be REAL!! Today could be the start of accepting yourself for who you are and maybe it isn’t..IT’S YOUR CHOICE…it’s going to take a lot of time and you have to be ready to begin your journey…remember it’s not a SPRINT it’s a MARATHON!

Take sometime to KNOW WHAT YOU WANT AND WHY…give yourself all the time you DESERVE…”To Create The Life You Can’t Wait To Live”!

SO…Tell me your thoughts! How can we help each other in this blog?? Add what you have found has worked for you and any “SereneInsights” you want to share!

Pam Glowski is a personal/business coach…if you would like to learn more about her go to www.sereneinsights.com or contact her directly at pam@sereneinsights.com

Don’t miss Pam’s RADIO SHOW…”SereneInsights”…THIS WEDNESDAY!!

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